Why you need a 'Life Theory' and how to get one.
A system for capturing who you are, who you’re becoming and how you might get there.
How do you capture what makes you you?
And do it in a way that also reflects who you might want to become?
How do you bridge those two things — without losing the thing that makes you special?
How do you build in the ability to reflect on who you’ve been and what you’ve done, so you’re not living a life built on outdated beliefs, or on ideas you inherited from others that were never really yours to begin with?
How do you make sure this sense of you, like all things, is always in beta — flexible as you are, able to grow as the world shifts around you, or as you help shape that world?
And finally: how do you organise all this so it both lights the fire inside you and lights the way outside you?
These questions — and how we answer them — are life-critical.
The ability to reflect regularly, reveal what matters most, and then act on it… can be the difference between a fulfilling existence, full of challenge and joy, or one that leaves you always feeling like something’s missing.
Some people do this naturally. Lucky them. Most of us don’t — myself included. It’s bloody hard to think about, let alone do.
But if you work as I do — helping leaders lead not just in their organisations but in their lives — these are questions you have to face every single day.
The tricky part? These things are incredibly difficult to pin down as individual parts, let alone as a coherent whole.
What’s needed is a system.
As is often the case in my work, an idea in one domain ended up solving a problem in another. This time it was a model called the 5 Sights Business Model — originally designed to capture a company’s “theory,” inspired by the work of Todd Zenger at Utah University. While working on the next version of my Breakthrough Book and Course, I realised these 5 Sights, and the conviction at their core, offered an elegant way to think about life itself — about what sits at the centre of who we are, what we do, and who we might want to become.
I first called it a “Life Model,” but the misattribution risk was obvious. So I settled on Life Theory.
Roots & Wings
Life Theory is designed to give you two fundamentals: roots and wings.
Roots, because without them we don’t know who we are, where we belong, or who we belong with. They need to be nurtured. Some we let go of, some we hold onto, but they’re always there to keep us balanced and whole.
And wings, because with strong roots, you’re secure enough to explore what’s next. Whether it’s a big leap into something new, or small tweaks to optimise, you have both permission and motivation to move.
Your Life Theory, built on 5 Sights
The 5 Sights are a way of systematically making sense of life. Each one has a role. Each opens with questions that push you to step in and outside yourself, then closes with questions that force you to consider what those answers mean.
1. Hindsight — looking back
The chapters of your life so far: What worked? What didn’t? What were the high points? The lows?
It also asks you to look under the bonnet for what Jim Collins calls light forces and dark forces:
Light Forces - When were you at your best? What are you most proud of? When did you feel most alive?
Dark Forces - What do you regret doing? What do you regret not doing? Which regrets are strong enough to shape what happens next? Who or what are you most envious of? What do you consistently put off? What are your elephants in the room? Your limiting beliefs?
And somewhere in-between:
What does success mean to you, and how has that changed?
What lessons did you learn? Which ones did you act on?
One powerful lens: If your life were a novel or a film, what would the audience be urging you to do next? The answer can be very revealing.
2. Foresight — the land of ambitions, dreams and a potential future
This is about passions, ambitions, dreams and your future self:
Passions - What do you love doing? If left alone, how would you fill your time? When do you most feel in your power?
Dreams - What did you always want to do but never did? What’s your version of work heaven and work hell? (And are elements of each already in your current work?)
Admiration - Who do you admire most, and why? What skills, traits, or qualities do they embody that you want more of?
Ideas & Hunches - What’s on your “one day” list? The projects, ambitions, or curiosities you put off until you “have time”?
Crazy Shit → What feels ridiculous, even impossible — but won’t quite go away? Sometimes this points to your truest hidden ambitions.
3. Insight — who you are and what you can do
The heart of your current self:
Experiences & Expertise - What are you trained to do, or have learned to do well? What are you known for? How do you make a living?
Metas - What are the underlying capabilities beneath your expertise? Can you separate skills from roles?
Strengths & Weaknesses - What comes naturally? What are you best at? What are you bad at? What definitely doesn’t come naturally?
Personality - What three traits make you, you? What are you like at your best? At your worst? (Ask people who know you well.)
4. Out-sight — what else you need to do or be
The bridges between who you are (Insight) and who you want to be (Foresight):
What traits, beliefs, capabilities, resources, or networks do you need to develop to close the gap?
5. Oversight — your principles and systems
The structures that keeps it all together:
Principles - What are your red lines? Your guardrails? What will you never do, and why? (Tip: Look at what makes you angry or what you hate in others — often your principles are there.)
Systems - How do you organise yourself? What rituals or routines help you get things done? Which ones need work? What coping strategies keep you healthy and sane when things get hard?
Sensemaking & Sensegiving
These 5 Sights help you make sense of your life. They force reflection, help you reveal what matters, and push you to act on it.
But sensemaking alone isn’t enough. You also need sensegiving — a way of translating those insights into clarity and motivation you can live by.
That’s where your central conviction comes in: the thing that both lights the fire inside and lights the way outside.
I ask people to capture it in six words, here are mine:
To do: Scale – Impact – Income
To be: Courageous – Kind – Open
These define your centre. Written as a sentence, they remind you of what you are doing and why. If they don’t light a fire and give direction, rewrite them until they do.
Metrics matter here too. The “to do” side is easier to measure. The “to be” side is more subjective — but you know when you’re living them (and when you are not), and so do those around you.
Always in Beta: Sense. Shape. Seize.
Your Life Theory is always in beta. Which means checking in regularly.
Sense how you’re doing — against your metrics, but also in light of changes inside or outside you. Reshaping your theory accordingly. Then seize the chance to act on it.
This can be as simple as journalling (our memories are terrible; journals aren’t), or as structured as a quarterly personal offsite (Greg McKeown’s lovely idea) and an annual review.
At its core, your Life Theory gives you a way to interrogate and capture who you are and what you do — as well as who you could be and what you could be doing — and a means of monitoring that over time.
I hope it’s as useful to you as it has been for me and for the leaders I work with.
The full Life Theory system is part of the Breakthrough Book and Course. If you’d like to know more about the next cohort starting in October/November, message me here or at breakthroughcourse@saulbetmead.com.